NANAIMO — A local podcast series has made a shocking discovery — that the federal candidates for office are actually… sort of… nice.

It is not clear whether the series will wrap up in a surprise conclusion that reveals the candidates are axe-murderers, warmongers, and terrible parents. But so far, the candidates profiled appear to have had average childhoods, appear to like their friends, and have had ups and downs.

The podcast series was produced by former CBC Radio host Tod Maffin, who spent the summer interviewing the candidates.

“Look I’ll be honest,” said Maffin. “Paul Manly left me alone in his office for about 20 minutes and I turned that place upside down. I couldn’t find a weapon anywhere. I searched his phone. He’s not having an affair. The only thing on his phone was a list of groceries he needed to buy.”

“Is it possible that these candidates are… more or less decent people? Like you and me? I really did NOT expect to find that.”

The only possible answer to this is, of course, that each of the candidates are either alien lifeforms who have studied our society, or deeply implanted Russian operatives.

Maffin is releasing the long-form interviews one a day this week.

You can listen to the podcast at https://anchor.fm/nanaimo