Is this real?

God, no. Consider this a city-wide course in media literacy. Too many people in this town (and everywhere for that matter) just share things they find on Facebook without actually reading the article, and get all hot and bothered about it. (Especially people in the Thieving Nanaimo Facebook group. Honestly, those people will believe anything.)

Not every headline you read is accurate.
Not every source is credible.

Develop some critical thinking skills. Our city will be better for it in the long run.

Besides, Nanaimo needs a little levity these days. We’ve had a rough past few years, what with that crazy last Council, tent city, and all the toxic Facebook groups. We all need a little laugh.

So this is Fake News?

No. Satire is not “fake news.” There’s a difference.

What about the comments in the You Say sections?

Sadly, those are real comments, posted by people who probably only read the headline then commented on it, without reading the article. We have blurred their names and profile pictures.

I’m really mad. How do I phone you?

You can’t.

Who are you guys?

Not telling.

What’s the end-game here?

No end game. This site is not intended to make money. Hell, we lose money on it.

Can I write for you?

Maybe. But we don’t believe in unpaid work, so we would want to find a way to pay contributors without revealing our identify. Except for dropping cash in a paper bag somewhere and telling you where to find it, we haven’t found a good anonymous way to give money out. If you’re interested, you can always try to reach us through our Facebook page.

Stuff our lawyer, Dave, made us say

The Nanaimo Beacon is a news satire and parody publication. All articles contained within this web site and on its social media accounts, however similar to real events, are fictitious. When public figures or actual businesses are mentioned by name, the corresponding story details are invented. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons, businesses or events is entirely coincidental.

Images on the this web site may consist of original photos, commissioned artwork, stock photography and creative commons photos. We have done our best to attribute the creators of such photos and artwork based on the information available to us. Use of these works does not suggests that the respective authors endorse us or our use of the work.