Citizens Protest City’s New ‘Naloxone NFT’ Data Mining Centre
A group of citizens loudly interrupted a City Council meeting, protesting the inevitable advancement of progress.
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Nanaimo Launches “Invasive Dollarama Species” Removal Campaign
The Mid-Island is being ravaged by an invasive species of dollar stores. It easily invades stretches of highway, roadsides, and shopping malls that have lost the will to live.
New Development on A&B Sound Property Will Look Exactly Like the Old One
NANAIMO — After years of discussions, Nanaimo has unveiled plans for the A&B Sound building, and its design will mirror the current building, right down to the graffiti and bodily fluids. The City released an architect's rendition of the proposed new building. It...
Nanaimo’s New “Enhanced for Fitness” Bike Lanes -3
UPDATE: This story has been updated with comments from Nanaimo citizens; see bottom of article. NANAIMO — Mid-Island residents will soon have an easier way to keep fit, thanks to what the City of Nanaimo calls "Fitness-Enhanced" bicycle lanes. The lanes have raised...
Island Plan “Falling Into Place Nicely,” says Satan, Devil of Darkness
NANAIMO — It's been years of planning, but now the Dark Lord says his campaign of retribution for Nanaimo is nearly at its apex. "I've been working on this since my agent Tracy Samra was disposed of so callously," said the Devil of Darkness. "I told you then you would...
A Handy Guide to Nanaimo’s New Grocery Bag Directive
Phase one of Nanaimo's bylaw banning plastic checkout bags is now in effect. The bylaw encourages the use of reusable bags by eliminating use of plastic bags and sets fees for paper bags and new reusable bags. As a public service, the Nanaimo Beacon has prepared this...
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