Meta is hiding our articles from you because of its ban on Canadian news.
You can still “friend” us on Facebook or join the email list or follow us on Mastodon

Local man “stunned” nobody wants to buy Rocky IV VHS tape

Fun/Living

NANAIMO — “I’m just stunned. Astonished, really.”

That’s the reaction of local spear-maker William Ackron, who, for the third year in a row, was unable to sell his VHS copy of Rocky IV at the Nanaimo car trunk sale.

The annual event brought together 100 vendors today — each selling used items from the trunks of their car in the Country Club Centre parking lot.

While most vendors seemed happy with the day’s results, Ackron was clearly disappointed.

“Rocky IV is a fucking masterpiece. Dolph Lundgren is in it, for Christ’s sake,” he told The Beacon. “And I have it on a mint-condition VHS tape. I don’t think you can even get better quality than VHS. Betamax, maybe.”

Other items Ackron was unable to sell:

  • A mug with the phrase “World’s Best Dad”
  • A stone carving of a cat (or perhaps a horse)
  • A pair of plastic scissors with unknown residue
  • A rock painted like a slightly smaller rock
  • “Taxidermy for Dummies” book
  • A small remote control for a martial aid

Critical reception to Rocky IV was mixed, but the film was a huge success at the box office, earning $300 million.

0 Comments

Reader Complaint Line

Angry about something you read here? Call us at (248) 434-5508.

About This Site

The articles on this web site are fictional works of satire.

Keep Reading…

Island Swinger Convention Was “A Little Weird” This Year

Island Swinger Convention Was “A Little Weird” This Year

NANAIMO — Vancouver Island swingers admit this year's annual convention was quite different, given the COVID-19 precautions. Enthusiasts of what they call "the lifestyle" gathered in three rented rooms at Nanaimo City Hall last weekend for their annual "Turpitudinal...

Victor Mema’s New Musical Panned by Critics

Victor Mema’s New Musical Panned by Critics

Not to be outdone by Tracy Samra's film directing debut, former Nanaimo CFO Victor Mema is starring in his own musical titled "Let Me Pay for That." However, critics so far have been unimpressed. "Honestly, I would rather watch a six-hour show where the audience is...

Controversial sea mammal café to open in Nanaimo

Controversial sea mammal café to open in Nanaimo

NANAIMO — A new and distinctively west-coast style of restaurant could be serving the hungry needs of Harbour City patrons as early as this fall. But not everyone is thrilled with the idea. Pequod Pete’s Sea Mammal Eats will be a seafood restaurant that forgoes...

Russian smartphone app converts your face into Don Bonner

Russian smartphone app converts your face into Don Bonner

NANAIMO — A devious Russian smartphone app is cleverly capturing thousands of face samples from Nanaimo residents and turning them into city councillor Don Bonner. Thousands of Nanaimo residents are said to have downloaded and used the app, whose privacy policy...

Liked this article? Share on your social media.