NANAIMO — Just days before the New Year, the City of Nanaimo finds itself in the middle of a devasting ransomare attack, which has removed all vowels from the City’s online documents.

City officials woke up Wednesday morning to find that not only had all vowels been removed from all online webpages, it also prevents City officials from typing vowels at all. Computers displayed an unremovable banner reading “We are now in control of your A, E, I, O, and U (and sometimes Y.) Pay up, chump.”

Nanaimo’s Director of IT, Nathan Poe, was not happy. In a statement to The Beacon, Poe wrote “W r xprncng sgnfcnt nd ngng systm-wd ntwrk ss, whch s lkly wng t mlcs cybrttck. Ths ttck s dlbrtly trgtng nd dsrptng Cty systms. Ctzns nd bsnss wnrs my xprnc prlngd wt tm t rcv ssstnc.”

Nanaimo RCMP, known internationally for their ability to take a good-natured joke, seemed to not find the attack amusing. “W r xprncng th mst sgnfcnt cybr scrty thrt w’v vr sn n th cntry,” said staff sergeant Aiden Pearce, noting that the local police use the city’s IT infrastructure. “Rst ssrd, w wll dply ll vlbl rsrcs t nsr whtvr grp s rspnsbl fr ths s brght t jstc.”