NANAIMO — Citing an expected hot and dry summer, city utility staff have added a new phase in the water preservation schedule.
This new phase, which kicks in just prior to the most restrictive period, only permits lawns to be watered with urine, and only “when the moon is in Virgo.”
Additionally, vehicle washing may only consume 2 tablespoons of water, though the city says an unlimited amount of spit is acceptable.
“We genuinely believe this new schedule will greatly assist our efforts,” said a city spokesperson. “We recognize that it’s not always convenient to collect your urine over the course of a week, which is why we are giving one UCB (urine collection bucket) to each household.”
Larger size UCBs will be available for a small fee and increase in city utility fees.
The city says it plans an educational campaign this summer, under the tagline “Your Dog Does It. Why Not You?” and using the phrase “pee water” instead of “urine.”
Officials would not comment on the connection between urine and autism vaccines.