He hasn’t left his house for six days now, and Nanaimo resident Dan Jakspo says the snow on the sidewalk outside his house is to blame.

After a record-setting snowfall, The Beacon confirmed that the sidewalk outside Jakspo’s residence is indeed covered by about two inches of snow.

Nanaimo resident Dan Jakspo comforts his daughter, whose iPhone battery is now below 10%.

“We weren’t ready for this at all,” says Jakspo, a llama rancher by profession. “There’s snow out there and if you walk on it, it’s slippery. I mean, I can navigate it just fine, but it seems like my time is better spent on Nanaimo Facebook groups complaining about snow clearing.”

Nanaimo city services manager Jimmy Houston confirmed he’s received dozens of emails from Jakspo in the last week.

An example of one of the emails allegedly sent by Jakspo to the City

Jakspo says he’s resorted to using a hair dryer to melt the snow, “but that just turns it into water which, as you know, is also pretty slippery. This is a disaster.”

When asked why he didn’t use the hair dryer to evaporate the resulting water, Jakspo said the City should take more responsibility. “I don’t know why we don’t have the water-evaporating trucks out. I can melt the snow just fine — it’s only two inches — but then what? Is the City just going to leave this water around? What happens when the water starts to flow downhill? I just don’t think they’ve thought this out.”

Mayor Leonard “StrongMan” Krog says the City’s only water-evaporating truck is in the shop for maintenance.

“We’re recommending that residents and business owners breathe on the melted snow,” Krog suggested. “Studies have shown that hot air can increase the rate of evaporation. If we all do our part, we’ll have the water evaporated just in time for the rainy season.”

For Jakspo, though, that advice comes a little too late.

“My daughter is in tears because her subscription expired for the YouMakeup app. I know that has nothing to do with the snowfall, but it all just adds to the stress. The City really needs to step up here.”

The Beacon has not independently confirmed the expiration of the app.