NANAIMO — SkipTheDishes will begin charging Vancouver Island customers an additional $20 per order, as the food delivery company says constantly dealing with Island residents is becoming a hazard to its drivers.

“Truth is, Islanders are becoming more and more erratic,” explained SkipTheDishes CEO Nathan Poe. “Every time our drivers are in contact with them, it puts them at risk for psychological damage.”

The move comes as the Province of B.C. investigates the delivery company’s new “B.C. fee,” meant as a way to recoup commission revenue capped by a provincial order.

“Here’s what happens,” Poe continued, in a hastily assembled news conference outside a Nanaimo landscaping company’s garage. “We pick up the food, we ring the doorbell, and the home residents come out and say horrible things like ‘I hope you’re doing okay,’ and ‘Thank you so much!'”

“It’s disturbing. We can not continue to subject our drivers to this kind of behaviour.” Poe said.

When asked by the Nanaimo Beacon why Skip the Dishes needs additional revenue, given that COVID-19 lockdowns are providing the company with record earnings, Poe began snarling, ripped off his shirt, and screamed “More! MORE MONEY!!!”

He was quickly ushered out by a company p.r. rep, who demanded the Beacon reporter pay a $50 “interview fee.”