NANAIMO — A surprisingly frank and profane news release from the owners of Nanaimo North Town Centre says they are giving up on traditional retailers and will only sell Harlequin novels from now on.

“Honestly, at some point we just have to say ‘fuck it’ ,” says the release. “We’ve tried getting retailers other than cheap art galleries to lease space in the mall but nobody’s biting.”

“So…. fuck it,” the release continues. “We’ll sell shitty romance novels, and nothing more. Is THAT what you want to buy, Nanaimo? Because honestly, we have no goddamned idea.”

Despite having 600,000 sq. ft., the mall has struggled in recent years to attract any retailers other than low-end art stores.

Workers began loading the 2.4 million Harlequin novels into the mall this past weekend, at the same time that mall owners distributed eviction notices to its existing tenants.

To promote the new Harlequin inventory, mall owners say restrictions will be placed on children attending the upcoming Kids Easter Art Event. Children will only be permitted to draw, paint, or sketch steamy, suggestive scenes from Harlequin covers. The free event occurs April 20th from 12:00pm to 2:00pm.