NANAIMO — Nanaimo’s main hospital will be removing up to 14 physicians from payroll, as part of a cost-savings measure, and will replace them with parents who have conducted enough Internet research to know a thing or two.

NRGH board chair Congolia Breckenridge told The Beacon the parents have assured her that they “know best” and “know their child better than anyone” and “vaccines cause autism.”

“Of course, we wish there would be enough funding to keep doctors in place, especially given their level of training,” Breckenridge added. “But, these parents have assured me that they have studied all medical conditions in-depth on the web site natural-supplements-by-dave.com.”

Other topics on that web site include:

  • This Child Died Because Vaccines Contain Arsenic
  • More Than Just Karen — A Mom’s Story of Deserved Entitlement
  • Hot Nanaimo MILFs Are Ready and Waiting for You
  • Nanaimo Car Loans Cheap in Nanaimo, Nanaimo Canada Loans
  • Seven Things that Prove The Medical Industry is Controlled by the Illuminati and Michelle Obama
  • REVEALED! Big Pharma Has a Life Insurance Policy Taken Out On You!

Surprisingly, hospital clinicians seem to mostly support the move. “I’m always so relieved when a mom tells me she’s done some Internet research,” said Dr. Michael Profils.

“Thank god that we have moms who are willing to invest countless minutes into researching their child’s medical condition and diagnosing them with chronic lyme disease and several other conditions that don’t actually exist.”

Nanaimo’s hospital is no stranger to big changes. Just a few years ago, they replaced paper records with a device known as a “computer.”