NEW YORK — Streaming giant Netflix has signed B.C. health officer Dr. Bonnie Henry and her ASL translator Nigel Howard to a six-year contract to host Mornings with Bonnie & Nigel every weekday morning.

“The chemistry between Dr. Henry and Nigel is indisputable,” said David Jinglepot, Netflix’s vice-president of talent acquisition. “It only makes sense to compliment their vital public health information with quarantine-cooking segments and fashion reviews of other provincial health officials.”

The new show, which will debut April 20th, will be a “lighthearted look at the fascinating world of COVID-19 infections.” It will run from 6:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m.

“I’m absolutely thrilled to be part of the Netflix team,” said Dr. Henry on a phone call (who noted that Mr. Howard was standing beside her, signing).

Among the segments already lined up for the first week:

  • “I Raised Her That Way” — Interviews with the moms of frontline workers
  • Easy toilet paper crafts you can do at home
  • What’s Bonnie Wearing? Fashionable Footwear for the Endtimes
  • An ASMR segment where Dr. Henry lulls you into a trance reciting provincial health legislation
  • Trivia Time! — Sports trivia, Hollywood trivia, and which province had more COVID-19 deaths to today trivia.
  • Guess what Nigel’s saying just from his facial expressions
  • Reviewing the Gwyneth Paltrow bullshit-product of the day
  • Things to Watch on Netflix (that are not available on television, Apple+, YouTube, Amazon Prime, or any other Netflix competitors so don’t even go looking)
  • The other exciting uses for the “back massager” in your closet

Both Dr. Henry and Mr. Howard, along with their new weatherman Adrian Dix, will move to New York once travel restrictions ease. In the meantime, they will be broadcasting the program from an office in the basement of the B.C. Legislature building in Victoria.

The show will follow the already-popular morning program “Speaking Moistly” with former pugilist and drama teacher Justin Trudeau.