Today, a report was published showing Nanaimo as among B.C.’s most affordable cities.
How did Nanaimoites react?
The Nanaimo Beacon went downtown and polled a completely average sample of totally normal and demographically representative citizens to find out their thoughts.
“Honestly, I don’t understand what the fuss is all about. The average home price in Nanaimo is just under $1 million. Surely everyone can afford that, no?”
— Mrs. Rubina Delactia III
“We frequently see many new homes being built, from our 27-foot luxury sailing yacht. There doesn’t seem to be a problem with supply, as far as we can tell.”
— David Ricatch
“People really need to stop griping about the price of homes. I built most of Nanaimo’s new houses in the last year, and I made sure I kept them well under $2.5 million.”
— Gary Singh
“We bought our third house in Hammond Bay just last week and don’t even live in it! We spend all our time in our stretch limo. People need to just save their money better.”
— Robert Gramm, esq.
“I’ve lived in Nanaimo all my life, and struggled growing up with only a measly $12M trust fund and a pair of Audis to my name — if I can do it, everyone can.”
— Sarah G. Eltiago
“Nobody rents any more. That’s so February.”
— Nathan Poe